If Wishes do really come true

 hi there. nevermind. im 99 % sure no one is reading this shit but just in case. 

Tomorrow is the last day of the current year. Still me. Pathetic, unemployed still not a risk taker obviously and almost out of confidence. If only i knew that this is how my life will turn out i would have been a cloud or something just to avoid being human. And yes, btw i still dont like my own kind. 

so, the year is ending, no record breaking changes for me and about less than 48 hours to new year here i am feeling my heart hurts. Literally. Why do people make bad stupid decisions and find something or someone to blame? Humans have the heart and especially the brain to know exactly what they were doing and the decisions theyre making. in short they knew right from wrong. its just bullshit why they still choose to trampled on others, be stupid enough that i want to end them even of we were blood related. i hate them . They make matters worst and blame you in everything. Like what the hell? Suck it up asshole its you and your stupid ass decision. 

I always hate to be blame by something i didnt do. Especially if i know that i already made or did my part. Why would they blame the world if they're the one putting theirselves in such bullshit situations? Theyve got brains but theyre surely a big idiot. And i dont care about that toxic culture, "No matter what happens, your family." I dont give a damn People should stop tolerating someone just because you belong to the same fucking family tree. If you choose to commit something that can hurt someone and is obviously a big type of stupidity then i hate you no matter who you are, and dont blame me or put some salt on me, trying to play the fucking victim. It wont work on me. When i hate you, i hate you. Yes thats me. I am horrible. At least i refuse to be taken advantage.

Occasions like this are always celebrated in this country or to almost all of my kind. But there might be something in this fuck up life of mine that every time there is something to be celebrated i always ends up getting frustrated and just want to forget everything and sleep and never wake up. Every freaking time. Birthday. Christmas. New year or even  on days i thought might be different from all the days.

As i said if i will be given a chance to leave everything behind i would definitely do it. Forget everything and hope that my dogs will be safe. Even if im no longer there.

IF WISHES DO REALLY COME TRUE and if there is really someone who can hear it. Please i dont want this same pain in my next life.